Invited to a wedding in Türkiye? Expect a henna night for close family, gold pinned on the couple and a long line of guests dancing the halay. Here is what guests need to know.
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Smart and a little dressy; never white or cream. Dress modestly if the family is conservative.
Gold coins, a gold bracelet or cash, pinned on the couple during the takı töreni rather than a wrapped present.
The evening reception usually lasts several hours; the henna night is often the evening before.
Tebrikler!: Congratulations!
Reply as the invitation asks; weddings can be large, and extended families and neighbours are often invited.
A Turkish wedding often follows several family steps, such as the söz, a promise between families, and the nişan, the engagement party. The legal marriage is the civil ceremony, performed by a municipal registrar, often in a wedding hall; some couples also hold a religious ceremony. Customs vary widely between regions, cities and villages, and between families.
The kına gecesi, or henna night, usually takes place the evening before the wedding. It is traditionally a gathering of women from both families and close friends, with songs, music and dancing. Henna is applied to the bride’s hands, often with a gold coin placed in her palm, and the atmosphere can be both joyful and emotional as the bride prepares to start a new chapter. Many families now invite a mixed group of guests, and the evening tends to be more relaxed and colourful than the wedding itself.
At the reception, the main moments are usually the couple’s entrance, a meal, the first dance or cake and the takı töreni, the pinning ceremony. The couple stand together, often on a stage, and guests come up in turn to pin gold coins, gold bracelets or banknotes onto a ribbon or sash. Close family give the most; friends and colleagues give according to their relationship. Then the davul drum and zurna pipe strike up, and guests join hands in a long, curling line to dance the halay. Nobody expects visitors to know the steps.
Turkish weddings are usually family occasions, and families with younger children are often welcome. Younger guests may love the music and the halay. Receptions can be loud and long, so bring ear protection for very young guests and plan a break.
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If a colleague invites you, a small gold coin or a banknote pinned during the takı töreni is appropriate. Colleagues sometimes give together.
The pinning ceremony, when guests pin gold coins, gold bracelets or banknotes onto a ribbon or sash worn by the couple. It replaces a wrapped gift.
The henna night, usually the evening before the wedding, when henna is applied to the bride’s hands amid songs and dancing, traditionally with women from both families.
No. Just hold hands with the people next to you and follow the steps of the line. Joining in is warmly appreciated.
