Invited to a wedding in France? The day often begins at the town hall, continues with drinks in the afternoon and ends with a long dinner and dancing. Here is how to prepare.
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Smart and elegant: a suit or a dress. Follow any dress code on the invitation and avoid white.
Most couples share a gift list (liste de mariage) or a honeymoon fund; give through it rather than bringing presents.
Often a full day: civil ceremony, sometimes a religious ceremony, the vin d’honneur, then dinner and dancing late into the night.
Félicitations aux mariés !: Congratulations to the newly-weds!
Reply by the date given and confirm which parts of the day you will attend.
In France, only a civil marriage is legally recognised. It takes place at the mairie (town hall) and is led by the mayor or a deputy, who reads out the couple’s rights and duties from the Civil Code before the couple and their witnesses sign the register. Couples who want a religious ceremony hold it afterwards, sometimes on the same day and sometimes later. Customs vary by region, faith and family, so read the invitation carefully.
After the ceremonies, guests usually gather for the vin d’honneur, a reception with drinks and small bites. It is often open to a wider circle, so neighbours, colleagues and family friends may be invited to this part only. Closer guests then stay for dinner, which can last several hours, with speeches, songs or games between courses, followed by dancing. Many weddings end with a pièce montée, traditionally a tower of choux buns, although plenty of couples now choose a modern cake.
Some couples invite close family and friends to a relaxed lunch or brunch the following day. It is informal and a good moment to thank the hosts.
Families are often welcome at French weddings, but check how the invitation is addressed. Dinners can run past midnight, so plan for tired family members and consider leaving after the main course or the cake. Some couples arrange a separate table or activities for younger guests.
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If a colleague invites you to the vin d’honneur only, that is normal and not a slight. A card and a contribution to the gift list, perhaps shared with your team, is a kind gesture.
French law recognises only civil marriage, so every couple marries at the mairie first. A religious ceremony, if the couple want one, can follow but has no legal effect on its own.
A drinks reception after the ceremonies, open to a wider circle of guests. Some people are invited only to this part, while closer family and friends stay on for dinner.
There is no fixed amount. Choose something from the gift list or contribute to the couple’s fund in a way that suits your budget and how well you know them.
