Invited to a wedding in England? Expect a ceremony in a church, register office or licensed venue, followed by drinks, a meal known as the wedding breakfast, speeches and often an evening party with dancing.
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Smart: suits or dresses, unless the invitation says otherwise. Avoid white, which is traditionally the bride’s colour.
Follow the couple’s gift list or wedding website; some couples ask for contributions instead.
Often the whole day: ceremony, drinks, the wedding breakfast, speeches and an evening party.
To the happy couple!: the classic toast
Reply by the date given, and check whether you are invited for the whole day or only the evening.
In England, couples can marry in a religious ceremony at a registered religious building, such as a church, or in a civil ceremony at a register office or another venue approved by the local council, such as a hotel or a stately home. Civil ceremonies can include readings and music but nothing religious, and couples who want both sometimes add a religious blessing afterwards. For most Church of England weddings, the couple’s intention to marry, known as the banns, is read aloud in church on three Sundays beforehand. At least two witnesses must be present, and the couple, the witnesses and the registrar or minister sign the marriage schedule. Many brides follow the Victorian custom of wearing or carrying “something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue” for luck.
After the ceremony there are usually drinks and photographs, followed by the meal. Confusingly for visitors, this is often called the wedding breakfast, even though it is rarely served in the morning: it is the first meal the couple share as a married couple. Traditionally, the speeches come after the meal. The father of the bride usually speaks first and toasts the couple, the groom thanks both families and the wedding party and toasts the bridesmaids, and the best man tells a few stories about the groom, reads messages from absent guests and ends with a final toast to the couple. Many couples now change this order, and brides, mothers and friends often speak too.
Many couples invite extra guests to join later for the evening party, so some guests are invited to the whole day and others only to the evening. Western traditions such as cutting the cake and the couple’s first dance often lead into a party with music. Some brides throw their bouquet; according to folklore, whoever catches it will be the next to marry. Customs vary widely between families, faiths and communities across England, and many weddings blend traditions from several cultures.
Some English weddings welcome families and others are adults-only, so read the invitation carefully. If younger guests are invited, a long day with speeches can be tiring, so plan quiet breaks.
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If a colleague invites you, a gift from their list or a card with a contribution is a kind gesture. Colleagues sometimes give a joint gift.
It is the couple’s first meal as a married couple. The name is traditional, and the meal is usually served in the afternoon or evening.
A guest invited only to the evening party rather than the whole day. The invitation makes this clear.
Traditionally the father of the bride, the groom and the best man, in that order. Many couples now add other speakers.
