Invited to a wedding in Vietnam? Family rituals usually come first, often at home and in front of the ancestral altar, followed by a lively reception. Here is what guests can expect.
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Smart and colourful; an áo dài is welcome. Avoid white and all-black outfits, and do not outshine the bride.
Usually cash in an envelope, often placed in a box at the reception entrance or handed to the couple.
Family ceremonies in the morning; the reception usually lasts two to three hours.
Chúc mừng hạnh phúc!: Congratulations and happiness!
Reply if the couple ask; receptions can be large, but seating is often planned by table.
A Vietnamese wedding often unfolds in stages. At the engagement ceremony, the lễ ăn hỏi, the groom’s family visit the bride’s home with gifts carried in lacquered trays covered in red, called mâm quả, such as fruit, tea, cakes, betel and areca. Some of the gifts are placed on the ancestral altar. On the wedding day, the groom’s family come to collect the bride, and the couple honour both families’ ancestors and receive blessings from their parents. The bride and groom often wear the áo dài, sometimes changing into Western-style clothes later. Customs differ between the north, centre and south, between faiths and between families, and many couples combine these steps or keep them small.
Most guests are invited to the reception, held at a restaurant, hotel or, in some places, at home. Guests usually greet the couple and their parents at the entrance, take photos and place a gift envelope in the box provided. Expect a multi-course meal, speeches from family members, music and plenty of toasts. The couple often go from table to table to thank their guests.
Weddings are a moment of respect for parents and ancestors. Follow the hosts’ lead and greet older relatives first.
Families are often welcome at Vietnamese receptions, which tend to be lively and friendly. Check how the invitation is addressed. Receptions are usually two to three hours, which suits younger guests, and there is plenty of food to share.
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If a colleague invites you, an envelope is the usual gift, and colleagues sometimes attend together. Arriving on time and greeting the couple and their parents is appreciated.
Most guests give cash in an envelope. The amount depends on your relationship with the couple and the venue. Some couples also welcome a small present.
The engagement ceremony, when the groom’s family bring gifts in red-covered trays to the bride’s family. It is usually a family occasion, held some time before the wedding.
Yes. An áo dài is a respected, elegant choice for guests. Avoid white and colours that could be confused with the bride’s outfit.
