Invited to a wedding in Germany? Expect a civil ceremony at the registry office, sometimes followed by a church wedding, a lively Polterabend where old china is smashed for luck, and perhaps the newlyweds sawing through a log together.
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Smart or as stated on the invitation. Avoid white, which is for the bride.
Money is common, often in a card or a creatively folded gift. Some couples have a gift list.
The civil ceremony is short; a church wedding, reception and evening party can fill the whole day.
Herzlichen Glückwunsch!: Congratulations!
Reply by the date on the invitation. Check which parts of the day you are invited to.
In Germany, only a civil marriage is legally valid, so every couple marries at the Standesamt, the registry office. A registrar conducts a short ceremony, the couple usually exchange rings and sign the marriage record, and witnesses are optional today. Registry offices are not always plain rooms: many towns offer ceremonies in castles, manor houses or other special venues. The civil wedding is often small, with close family and the witnesses, the Trauzeuge or Trauzeugin. Some couples also have a church wedding, on the same day or later, and this is often the larger event. Traditionally, German weddings have one witness each rather than a line of bridesmaids and groomsmen.
A popular custom is the Polterabend, a relaxed party, traditionally the evening before the wedding but now often held weeks earlier. Guests bring old porcelain, stoneware or flowerpots and smash them on the ground, because “shards bring luck”. Glass and mirrors are not broken. The couple then sweep up the pieces together, a first symbol of tackling things as a team. Invitations are often by word of mouth, so friends, neighbours and colleagues who are not invited to the wedding itself may come too. After the ceremony, guests may throw rice, and some couples saw through a log together with a two-person saw, the Baumstammsägen. A drinks reception often follows, where guests congratulate the couple. Customs vary between regions and families.
Money is a common gift, often presented in a card or in a creative, decorative way. Some guests use the cost of their place at the celebration as a rough guide, but this is an informal custom, not a rule, and any gift should suit your relationship and budget. Some couples prefer a gift list or a contribution to their honeymoon.
A Polterabend is usually a relaxed, informal event that suits families. Check the invitation for the wedding itself, and if younger family members are coming, plan for a long day with breaks.
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If a colleague invites you, money in a card or a gift from the list is usual. Colleagues often give a joint gift, and you may be welcome at the Polterabend or the drinks reception.
In Germany only a civil marriage at the registry office is legally valid. A church wedding can follow but is optional.
A party before the wedding where guests smash old porcelain for luck, and the couple clear up the pieces together.
Yes. Money is common, often in a card or presented creatively. Some couples prefer a gift list.
